When It Comes to Job Interviews, Honesty Is Never Your Best Policy
Human communication is peculiar and imperfect. Add in a layer of financial dependency and you’re in for quite the circus act of a luncheon.
--
Full of shifty eye-contact, awkward questions, and wordy answers, job interviews begin and end with feelings of anxiety and confusion. If only we could say exactly what was on our minds, we could regain so much of the intent that is inevitably lost-in-translation.
Interviewer: “Thank you so much for coming in.”
Translation: “Thanks for not no-showing.”
Interviewee: “Oh, it’s my pleasure.”
Translation: “I’m happy to put up with this awkward encounter if it means money.”
Interviewer: “Lovely day out, isn’t it?”
Translation: “Relax, I’m cool. See, non-work stuff.”
Interviewee: “Yes, it’s a beautiful day outside.”
Translation: “See, I’m nice too, but let’s just get into it. Also please hire me.”
It’s sad that we can’t be more upfront with one another but frankly, it’s 2019 — we can’t. To avoid possibly offending anyone, we speak in code and leave it up to our counterparts to decode our true intentions. The very idea of sitting down across from a complete stranger and explaining to them why they should hire you, is unnatural. Having to break down your worth as a human being in a digestible manner — without sounding too confident or underconfident — is hard enough, without the added layer of dishonesty.
Interviewer: “What would you say are your three greatest strengths?”
What you want to say: “Well, number one, I’m not an assh*le. Two, I’m smarter than everyone, and three, I’m just good at my job. Ask anyone…
